It’s not your typical love story. But we aren’t your typical type of people. He was living in Yorkshire, England. I was living in San Diego, California. He was on his brother’s stag do (bachelor party). I was just on a spur of the moment weekend in Vegas. We both ended up at the same pool party. At the same time. He wasn’t meant to be out partying that day and I wasn’t meant to be at that pool. He was the only single fella in the group and I was way out of my comfort zone. He was the one hiding in the back corner of the cabana and I was the one who approached him. He was the one who told me he was going to marry me (without even asking for my name) and I was the one who laughed in his face.
We are from two different countries, with a mirrored family dynamic. Caucasian single independent mother who happens to wear glasses and an ethnic sarcastic father who loves the women. Divorced. From his mom same dad, he has an older brother. From my mom same dad, I have an older sister. (Both were in the process of getting married that same year with no kids at the time). From his dad, he has two half sisters. From my dad, I have two step sisters. From his mom different dad, he has a younger brother. From my mom different dad, I have a younger brother. (With extra siblings on the side but then it starts to get a bit complicated) Not to mention we both have one grandparent in our life at the moment, who happens to be on the paternal side. His Grandad and my Lolo. We have the same birth day, the 9th, nineteen months apart. We both are the middle child. The wild child.
We have came to an agreement that prior to meeting that we were both somewhat on a downwards spiral. I was a preschool teacher by day, bar maid at night and babysitter on the side. Scraping day by day trying to get by. He was a professional football player who was gambling away his extras. We both were lost as to where we stood in our own life. Considering we were 5,480 miles away from each other, for some reason, it was no question to either one of us that after six months of meeting I was making the move to England. That moment was the moment the earth beneath my feet started to shift.
Two months later I fell pregnant with our first baby girl. We then were pronounced Mr. & Mrs. Bennett. By the time I had applied and received my UK visa, I was six months pregnant flying back to my husband in England. Within one year of meeting we moved in together, fell pregnant, bought a house and got married. This was us.
We weren’t a perfect relationship by any means. We both had our pasts haunting us. However, we were bringing out each other’s deepest desires, needs, and fears. We were testing each other, but at the same time testing our self. We are not only each other’s best friends and lovers but we are also each other’s teachers.
Together, we are now on this journey called, ‘parenthood’. Where there are two different minds, thoughts and opinions on how to raise our babies. Where we invest all of our time and energy in these beautiful little humans, that we forget to breathe and remember how much we care about each other.
The journey where now our dinners consist of at least one child crying and the other needing a nappy change in the midst of a spoonful of food. Where we have that odd occasion, every six months and go out as a couple, get too excited and get completely smashed. (This is if we are even lucky to find a babysitter.) Where the one of us keeps pestering the other for a cinema date night, but then ends up on the sofa watching Moana with the girls. Where we aim to spend some one on one time with each other while the girls are in bed but then snooze away in mid-sentence.
We don’t always see eye to eye about how to comfort the kids, but our morals are the same. We think as one, but also have disagreements. We see both sides of the argument, but always believe in our original opinion. We both started out as carnivores, but grew to be vegans (at our own individual pace). Everything we do, we do it together. We make mistakes but we keep our minds open, constantly learning and supporting each other.
Parenthood, is the ultimate challenge of juggling the happiness between the babies, the happiness within yourself, and the happiness with your significant other. It is still hard for me to find a balance. However, we both have learned that communication is key to locking this family tight. We will have our time again to be that couple to go out to eat, have a glass of wine, and where we can actually taste the food in front of us. We will have our time to travel and explore the world hand in hand without traveling with an extra suitcase full of nappies. We will have that time.
However right now, we both know and understand that while we are at our youngest, healthiest and most energetic, our time now is spent with two of the most important humans in our life. We both know that this is best time of our lives.
Sign, Squeal, Mumble,
The Bennett Babes